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How slutty is your bike? - Cyclelicious

How slutty is your bike?

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006
By Yokota Fritz

The Slut-o-Meter searches Google for your keywords, searches again with Google's SafeSearch enabled, compares the number of results from each and generates a Slut Ratio. The higher the number, the more slutty your subject is. Paris Hilton, for example, rates about 84%, while John Forester rates 1.4 and Sheldon Brown is a 3.6. This means that Sheldon is more than twice the slut that Forester is.

How slutty is your bike? Most of the bike brands rate in the single digits. The standout is Giant Bikes which ranks an amazing 24%. Can you find a more slutty bike brand?

Most bike racers also rank in the single digits. Even Lance Armstrong rates an 8.4, while Sheryl Crow scores nearly 16. I'm not sure I want to see nude photos of Sheryl. I'm certain I don't want to see a nude Lance Armstrong. The only double-digit road racer I could find is the late Marco Pantani with a Slut score of nearly 14%. Mountain biker Niki Gudex is smoking hot at 34%.

The bike blogs I checked were all low-ranking. The exception was Bike Riding Donut Guy with a double-digit 14%. Does your blog rank higher?

The highest ranking bicycle phrase I could find is Bike Porn at 50%, which is actually higher than I expected. Are there bike phrases that rate higher in sluttiness?

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Woo-hoo! Masiguy is a 10.48%. Double digits baby!

I'm easy, I admit it.
My blog must be practically puritanical! .47%!! But...my favorite bike, the Surly Karate Monkey pulled double digits at 16.54%. A slutty bike for sure!
Oooh does my blog win this contest??
Promiscuity: 31.52%. Woohoo!
1% on either one of my blogs!
I'm at 14%????

Woo hoo, I must be right with Jesus:-)
4.04% (wobbly rainbow [one of my funny bikes])
1.08% (my [unnamed] commuter bike)
Guess I'm a prude. 4.35%. But I like it that way. :)
Seems when I use "Go Clipless" or www.goclipless.com I get negative results. In other words, overly pure, which I know I am not. However, when I search "goclipless.com" it comes out at nearly 23%. Seems more like it. ;-)
36.51% for me!

...is that a good thing??
9.47% for loonyOne. Do y'all think my wife will validate this rating!!
hereNT is 9.6%, worthless drunk is 25.64...

My real name comes up at 19.05.

I'm doubting the validity of the test...

Fondriest: 6.22% (Fondriest Carb Level is an uber chaste -0.22%)
Schwinn: 1.08% (although Schwinn Sidewinder 4.9%)
Specialized: 0.66% (Specialized Rockhopper is 2.84%)

and the winner from my stable:

Peugeot: 29.31% (although Peugeot PX-10 is only 4.38%)

I'm sure that's because the cars are way sluttier than the bikes.
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