See also Bay Area Roadway Collapse Was Actually Cyclist Terrorism: "The destruction of the bridge is, in truth, clearly the work of rogue cyclists intent on destabilizing the Homeland and the Middle East by reducing demand for oil. Just two days earlier, the San Francisco Chronicle gossip reporters got wind that a coalition of rogue cyclists known as Critical Mass was going to riot in the streets AGAIN. Once the cyclists got wind their plan was foiled, they pretended to hold a peaceful parade, but were actually traveling around the city in a giant pack filling their little plastic water bottles with gasoline siphoned from cars using old bicycle tire tubes cut in half. Sunday morning, a horde of them stuck their Lycra shorts in the top of those bottles, sneaked onto the highway and used their cyclist Molotov cocktails to firebomb a gasoline truck, and then disappear ed onto local roads. The goal: To topple Saudi Arabia and install a puppet cyclist dictator who would jack up oil prices until all of us would be stuck riding Huffy mountain bikes to the mall for the rest of our lifetimes. That's what my sources tell me."