Locker room shower etiquette?


I was showering in the locker room at my office the other week when I hear the guy in the next stall over hack what sounded like a huge loogie. After my neighbor loudly cleared another lung booger, I let him know how I felt about his rudeness.

That’s so freakin’ gross, man!

After a moment of silence, Aqualung responds, “Excuse me?”

That’s nasty. Don’t spit your slimy globs in the shower!

His clever retort: “Mind your own business,” which he defiantly punctuates with a series of more loud expectorations.

Seriously, who spits phlegm in the shower? I can’t even picture doing this at home, let alone in a public shower.

Since rudeness and crudeness apparently aren’t universally known attributes, here are a few things you shouldn’t do in the shower: urinate, defecate, masturbate, stare, shoot snot rockets, and for goodness sake don’t SPIT big green tuberculoic wads of mucous.

Photos of occupied showers are also rude, for whatever that’s worth.

That is all. Please enjoy the rest of your day.


  1. Where I play tennis there’s an old-style shower with zero privacy. That pretty much keeps anyone not already so inclined on the straight and narrow. Good luck with your situation. Use more soap and buy bleach?Yikes…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.