“Give me three feet!”

I don’t know if this is actually in the United States or not. That weapon is an M4 carbine, which is US military issue, but this is a commonly used rifle used by many militaries, and semi-auto versions are available for civilian purchase. I filched this from Pro Bike Kit’s Facebook page, and I don’t know where they stole it from in turn.

This reminds me of Bob Fishell’s “Spike Bike” stories:

With all the acrimony that’s been passed around about bikes vs. cars, I thought it would be a good time to talk about a really interesting ride….

It was a Friday. Fridays are usually good days because you have a lot of teenagers drinking and driving, plus a lot of people who are in a bad mood and in a hurry to get home from work. The factories usually pay on Friday, so you get a fair number of beer-commercial types cruising around in their 4X4s looking for some butt to kick while they’re knocking back a few brews. A cyclist’s paradise.

I stuck a full mag in my MAC-10 and put another one under the saddle. The gun fits into the water bottle cage pretty well, and it’s fairy light. I stuffed a couple of grenades in my jersey pockets and slipped my Rambo-knife into its sheath on the front fork. Just for good measure, I grabbed a thermite grenade and dropped it into the remaining jersey pocket. This is a little more weight than I usually carry, but it was Friday night after all.

More of this 1980s Usenet bike fiction archived here.