I need a new bicycle. Consider the evidence:
- I’ve been caught and passed on Foothill Expressway this week by –
- Getting passed by these people is bad for my ego as a professional bicycling blogger, and it’s bad for my reputation. My readers absolutely depend on my good name for their daily dose of bike news and commentary.
- I’m clearly a better, stronger, and faster cyclist than all of these people. My jersey, socks, gloves, helmet, shades, shoes and bar tape all match, after all!
- I ride a Specialized Roubaix, which is like the comfort bike of road bikes for old people.
- Ken Conley, who is test riding the $6,700 Storck Absolutist 0.9 (15 lbs, SRAM Red, Zipp wheels, “stiff yet comfortable” which I suppose is another way of saying “laterally stiff yet vertically compliant”), writes “I shattered some PRs on the bike,” clearly demonstrating that it is indeed about the bike.
- Scientific research clearly demonstrates that newer bikes are faster.
Have I convinced you? Can you help me convince my wife? And which bike should I get?