Here’s my fancy rendition for the uber-est best urban bike ever – the Yanko My Chain Bike!
Note these features:
- Modular concept gives this bike infinite expandability from a single rider bike. After removing the front wheel, the downtube of each module folds down to connect to another bike in front at the rear hub to create an instant tandem, as shown in this illustration. Multiple bikes can be added. I’ve connected up to eight modules with no loss of stiffness or control!
- Space-age unobtanium composite material in the frame and wheels results in a built up weight of only 15 lbs, yet the bike offers superior lateral stiffness with amazing vertical compliance.
- Infinitely adjustable seat and handlebar placement make this bike a perfect fit for adults between 4’8″ to 7’4″.
- “Step Through” Frame (TM) allows men and women in skirts and those with joint problems to easily mount and dismount this bike.
- Of course it has fenders. You don’t want mud in your stoker’s face, do you?
- Shaft drive internal to the “chain stay” keeps out chain grease and the risk of torn pants and skirts. Moving parts are all sealed for long term lubrication and durability.
- High efficiency thin film photovoltaics embedded into the tire sidewalls provide power for the 3000 watt front hub motor, headlight, tail light, brake light, turn signals, emergency flashers, 400 watt surround sound audio. Three USB plugins at each seat provide power for mobile devices such as the iPad, phones, camera. These photo cells made from the superior Made-In-USA workmanship are so sensitive they provide usable power from starshine and urban street lighting.
- Beam design licensed from SoftRide guarantee absorbs the biggest pot holes and curbs to guarantee a plush ride.
- Patented honeycomb airless tires never go flat, yet provide shock absorption superior to many pneumatic tires.
- A specially licensed modified upgrade of Fallbrook Technology’s NuVinci N360 Continuously Variable Planetary IGH provides 621% gear range, beating out the gear range of triple derailleur gearing on mountain bikes.
- Bike can operate in no-assist mode (no electric power to the hub motor), partial assist (the harder you pedal, the more assist you get), and full assist (no pedaling needed; just twist the throttle and let ‘er rip).
- To encourage fitness, gold coins, woodland creatures, fairies and baby unicorns spontaneously erupt in the wake of the bike when you exceed 18 MPH / 30 km/h unassisted.
- Inspection Detection feature: Through GPS, Internet crowd sourcing technology, and special BikeBrain AI software developed at the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign by Doctor Sivasubramanian Chandrasegarampillai, the bike can determine local law regarding limits to ebike power and speed. When law enforcement authorities are detected nearby, the bike automatically downgrades motor power output and governs bike speed accordingly. When in unlimited, ungoverned mode, the hub motor is capable of pushing a single bike and rider weighing up to 300 lbs to 45 MPH.
- Finally, this bike folds for easy use on public transportation and storage in your small flat. Multiple hinge points allow you to fold this bike into 4 x 10^27 different configurations, like a Transformers robot or a paper origami construct. Some folding configurations discovered by I and my team include a metallic ficus tree, disco ball (the built in lights make this come alive!), pet cage, book shelf, and a baby crib. Create an original sculpture by folding your Yanko My Chain bike into a new, unique shape, hang it on your wall as art and post it to our Facebook page!
Optional accessories plug into the module rear hub interconnect, and all can plug compatibly into the rear hub and into each other, so you can chain as many of these options together as tandem trailers. These accessories include:
- Wheeled Cargo Trailer with e-hub Boost motor. Compact size means you can easily share the road and the bike path with other users, yet clever design results in immense capacity while still giving plenty of room even at low clearance underpasses typical of creekside bike trails. I’ve hauled a full set of roof trusses from the Home Depot with the cargo trailer accessory!
- Kid Trailer with room for four children. For those over 4’8″ tall, use the standard Yanko My Chain bike module in tandem mode.
- The Probiotic Compost Bin enhances your green image while encouraging bacterial decomposition through improved air flow.
- Rolling Beehive — a beehive in a box with wheels, for the urban apiculturalist. Includes smoke machine, beekeeper suit and a starter queen bee.
Other options connect to the universal accessory mount at the top of the headtube. This interconnect includes power from the photo cells for accessories that require electricity.
- Yanko My Chain Front Rack, with power steering assist to help you steer in spite of heavy loads.
- Yank My Chain Portable Espresso, to steam and pull a perfect shot of espresso.
- Pair the Espresso machine with the Yanko My Chain Coffee Grinder.
- Yanko My Chain Landing Lights — ultra bright 50,000 lumen headlight for any imaginable biking condition you can think of.
- Yanko My Chain Cooling Fan — for extra hot days, air drawn across cooling fins is blasted directly into your face.