I had a lovely commute this morning sitting in traffic in my climate controlled minivan. I thought I’d share the wonderful drive I had.
I did have a couple of ‘interesting’ interactions today; I’m so glad I was sealed up safely in my car!
The first incident
I was stopped at a red light when a homeless freak apparently thought I was going to give him some spare change. I couldn’t believe it when he stretched his hand toward me! I hit the gas as soon as the light turned green and ‘accidentally’ clipped the weirdo – I saw him spin around in my rear-view mirror and crack his head on the curb.
A few minutes later the radio traffic report mentioned a hit and run at that very same intersection. Some maniac apparently sent a pedestrian to the hospital. I’m so glad I was able to speed away before the crazy driver got there.
The Second Incident
As I pulled into the office parking lot, a dummy on a bike got right in my way in the lane! I can’t believe how stupid some of these cyclists are. I honked to let him know that he needs to get over to the curb so I can pass and he flipped me off! They talk about sharing the road but don’t know the first thing about sharing. He forced me to swerve around him so I threw my McGriddle at him through the window because he needs to get the message that he should be a more careful cyclist.
Thinking about these guys (and more commonly now women! Some of them even wear skirts!) really makes me upset. I just need to remember all of the advantages of driving alone to work. I avoid people and other undesirable elements. I feel free in my car. I listen to music and the news. I don’t get cold in the winter, I don’t get wet in the rain, I don’t get hot in the summer. I’m free to come and go as I please, and I can haul as much stuff as I like in the back of the car. I can pretend to be James Bond when I hit the road and open up.
What are some wonderful adventures you have in your daily car commute?